Divorce in islam
Divorce
Divorce
Divorce
There are lots of words in this world that people don't want to say or hear,
and divorce is one of them.
But sometimes, divorce is the absolute best option.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not an advocate for divorce. I am an advocate for trying your hardest to make your marriage work. But sometimes continually trying to force something together that clearly doesn't belong together ends up doing more harm than good. I know from personal experience.
sometimes what attracted you to someone changes over time. Maybe these reasons are shallow. Maybe they're deep. Maybe they're serious. Whatever they are, sometimes you need to let go of the baggage to be a better person or a better parent. Your children know you're not happy and may act out. Your parents know you're not happy. Your friends know you're not happy. And if you've exhausted all options, it's time to part ways - hopefully amicably.
Marriage is a vital cornerstone within the Islamic tradition in that without strong marriages our communities become weak and unable to stand. There are Prophetic traditions which state that marriage is half of religion. Due to this emphasis on marriage, we tend to speak about it at length, we ruminate over its benefits, its high status in Islam and other Abrahamic religions, and we also passionately discuss the roles of genders and how best each can work to preserve marriage. However, in doing so we tend to neglect to speak on what occurs when marriages do not work. When divorce is discussed, it is most often spoken about negatively, as if to say that the act is an impermissible one, though we know that the religion of Islam made it permissible. This article hopes to give a brief overview of divorce, its inner realities, examples and reasons from both the life of the Prophet(s) and contemporarily, guidance from the words of God with some personal commentary.
God speaks on the subject of divorce multiple times in the Quran. In some religions such as Catholicism, divorce was a sin and not to be practiced. In Judaism, one finds that the concept of divorce is shunned and, unlike in Islam, there is no textual reference giving women their own form of divorce as is found in the Quran .So why would God speak on this subject? One need look no further than the following verse, “The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Quran, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion” (Quran 2:185). The Quran is a guidance for all people, at all times and in all circumstances; as such, it would be impossible for God to not discuss divorce which is an inevitable aspect of our marital lives.
It was narrated from 'Abdullah bin 'Umar that the Messenger of God's said:
"The most hated of permissible things to God's is divorce."
When the vast majority of believers look at this Prophetic narration they may now and again arrive at an incorrect understanding that divorce is not only disliked in the religion but that those who practice it are allowing Satan to do as he wishes. What people neglect to understand is that sometimes divorce is a mercy from God. Islam does whatever it can to keep marriages together, to make them a source of love and affection, and a means of attaining the pleasure of God. However, sometimes there are marriages which are toxic, where abuse is the norm and where divorce is advised. It is foolish for bystanders, family, friends and the like to look at this divorce with disdain. Just as a marriage can be obligatory for some and recommended for others, so too can divorce.
There are cases of men and women alike speaking to their significant other with absolutely no respect, with words unbefitting of a servant of God, sometimes even with physical abuse that leaves not only physical scars but emotional ones. Relationships like this should not go on, they should not happen to begin with but when they do, divorce should not be looked at as a sin, but instead an opening and an outlet.
Why is this important? It shows us that divorce is not something foreign from the Islamic tradition and from the prophetic example. It also shows us that one of the main reasons for divorce has and will always be a betrayal of trust. So how should divorce be done once a man has proclaimed divorce to his wife, how is she to be treated?
God mentions in the Quran that the woman should not be forced out nor should she leave the home. Some contemporary readings may cause people to believe that God is being unjust and causing people to stay in a relationship that is not good for them. However when one delves into the exegesis they will find quite the opposite. For one, God requires that during this time the husband is still financially responsible for her, cares for her needs and provides a roof over her head. More than all of that, is what Imam Qurtubi says about “You know not; perhaps God will bring about after that a [different] matter,” (Quran 65:1). In the exegesis of this ayah, Qurtubi states that this “matter” that God speaks about refers to the power of God to change the heart of the husband from one filled with anger and disdain to one filled with contentment and love.
Unfortunately, many among us stray from the words of God; where God calls us to mercy .God reminds the believer that upon the divorce the male should not make things difficult for the woman, whether financially or emotionally. Men should not place the women into positions where they are unaware of how to find a solution that is befitting the dignified position God has bestowed upon women. God says, “confer among yourselves in the acceptable way,” highlighting that though you may disagree in certain issues, it is the job of both spouses to work together in a good manner, this is increasingly the case if children are involved which is the example given by God in this particular verse.
The benefit, health, spiritual well-being of the child is prioritized, this is not to say as some do that divorce should never be an option when children are involved, that can never be the case. There are relationships in which divorce is a path of mercy and love, or cases when there is a betrayal of trust such as the constant lies and even infidelity of the heart, limbs and even adultery, relationships like this are toxic.
Relationships where both spouses are constantly looking over the back of the other in an effort to find their faults, to see what sins the other might be acting upon, is not healthy.
It should be known, and it should be clear that marriage is a divine act, it is a beautiful bonding of two people according to the way of life granted to us by God. However, if and when the time comes that the spouses need to leave the relationship then there should be no impediments and both spouses should be just in how they walk away.
Divorce is permissible for us as people of Islam; however, it should be done properly and according to Islam. Divorce should not be abused, the rights of both man and woman should be observed and in a world where marital relationships are dwindling day by day, one should pay the utmost attention to the importance of these divinely gifted relations. They should do whatever they can to preserve them, and if the time comes when they should split, then let it be according to the rules of God and His messenger.
Nicole Queen Revert to islam
I am an American girl from small town Texas who converted to the faith of Islam. Shocking, I know but living the chaotic lifestyle I lived as a night life photographer, drove me to look for a higher purpose in life. God was that purpose and I have never looked back. I'm a public speaker about Islam in America and a professional photographer with 10 years of experience. I am thankful for my new life, and happily married with a beautiful baby boy. Read my story on www.NicoleQueen.com
If only it were that easy. To be able to just post an ad when your first going through the transition of leaving your old life of emptiness, to fulfill your desire of closeness with God in Islam. Or maybe, like one of those online match-maker sites, only you would need to be able to look for a whole lot more than just love. How about searching for a new identity, self belonging, friendships, possibly even a new career? Wow, do people really ever look back and say "I can't believe I made it through that storm in one piece, but man it was worth it"? I know I say that on a regular basis and I bet I'm not alone. There is so much more to this, to becoming a Muslim, than just changing your faith.
Across the globe people everyday are reading, blogging, searching about Islam. It's the hottest topic, even in churches now instead of preaching about Christ, they can't seem to escape bringing up the subject of my new religion, Islam. The demand for information on Muslims and Islam is growing and heaping and rolling into one of those giant snow balls, rolling down the hill and the best part is how many people it's grabbing into it's snowy fluff along the way. The excitement you feel when you come to Islam, I call it the "New Muslim High"...LOL. I wish I could bottle that stuff up and sell it, it's such an amazing feeling. It's like all the sudden someone woke you up and said "Hey how's it going, let me introduce your to yourself, that old person was just your stunt double, here's the shiny amazing (you) that you've been dying to meet all this time". Along with any drastic changes to your life, you come to expect the challenges as well.
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Do You LOVE Jesus?
In Islam, you don't have to make any sacrifices, you can have both Truth and Love in God at the same time.
First we must know what True Love is. True Love is a two way street. This means we take Love as well as we give Love.
For example, Loving Jesus:
Muslims love Jesus more than Christians according to the Meaning of True Love. This is because if you Love someone, you would care for them.
The Christians don't have Love with God, but rather Greed towards God.
If the Christians had true love with God, than they would be Happy to learn Jesus was not killed but rather it appeared as if he was killed, similar to Jesus appearing to be a unknown gardener to Mary in the Cave {John 20:15}
Instead, the Christians ventilate that Jesus suffered and bled and was filled with pain and anguish.
Is it love to insist this happened to someone you love even though some evidence suggests it may not have happened? Of course not, this is the farthest thing from love.
If someone you love was kidnapped, and there was some evidence that the one you love is safe, would you insist they are not safe?
To Love is to share, another way Muslims love Jesus more than the Christians is that we do not pass our sins to Jesus, we take responsibility for our own sins. We believe Jesus was sent by God to assist Israel return to the Straight path, Jesus never claimed he was sent to consume everyone's sins, but instead to preach (which he did for over 30 years before returning to God) the good news of Peace.
If you love your neighbor, would you take your garbage and put it at your neighbors door? Absolutely not, you would take responsibility for your own garbage.
Christians in the scope of the big picture, are uncaring of Jesus, a bully to Jesus.
This is not to suggest that our Creator, the Father of us all, is ungiving, for the fact is, that God does give Love.
The Webster Dictionary meaning of the word "Love" is: "passionate, warm attachment, affectionate"
The Holy Qur'an lists these attributes describing God, along with much more, for example, in the Holy Qur'an, our Creator is addressed as:
"Compassionate, Merciful, the Helper, the Nourisher, the Generous, the Guide, the Loving (al-Wadud in Arabic often translated into English as "the Kind One"), the Raiser of the Dead, the Patient"
Thus showing how the God of Islam which is the same God of Abraham, Moses and Jesus , is in fact a God of Love.
Besides God being Defined as Love in the Holy Qur'an , we also see quotes of how God Gives us Love in the Qur'an:
- "... God loves the doers of justice." {Holy Qur'an 60:8}
- "... God loves those who are fair (and just). " {Holy Qur'an 49.009}
- " On those who believe and work deeds of righteousness, will (Allah) Most Gracious bestow love. " {Holy Qur'an 19:96}
- "...God loveth those who make themselves pure." {Holy Qur'an 9:108}
- "... For God loves those who put their trust (in Him). " {Holy Qur'an 3:159}
God in the Qur'an also gives Love unconditionally:
"It may be that God will ordain love between you and those of them with whom ye are at enmity. Allah is Mighty, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. " {Holy Qur'an 60:7}
" And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." {Holy Qur'an 30:21}
"...for ye were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, ye became brethren; and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus doth Allah make His Signs clear to you: That ye may be guided. " {Holy Qur'an 3:103}
" And He is the Forgiving, the Loving, " {Holy Qur'an 85:14}
The Qur'an reveals this false assertion that God only loves the Jews or the Christians:
"And the Jews and the Christians say: We are the sons of God and His beloved ones. Say: Why does He then chastise you for your faults? Nay, you are mortals from among those whom He has created, He forgives whom He pleases and chastises whom He pleases; and God's is the kingdom of the heavens and the earth and what is between them, and to Him is the eventual coming." {Holy Qur'an 5:18}
This is not a attack on either Faith , it only rebukes the claims by Jews who say 'only the children of Israel are the chosen people' or the Christians who say 'all non-Christians are demons'
This verse is only explaining that we are all from God and God loves us all.
"Those who believe (in the Qur'an), those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Sabians and the Christians,- any who believe in God and the Last Day, and work righteousness - on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. " {Holy Qur'an 5:69}
In conclusion, there are many more examples but this is to demonstrate that True Love is both equally given as well as taken. Let us love each other, stand together as partners, praying to God and enjoying the Love and guidance manifested in the Holy Qur'an.
Victoria Nailah Edwards Revert to islam
Victoria Nailah Edwards Revert to islam
Arnoud Van Doorn Revert to islam
“I have all faith in Allah to support me and to guide me through these moments," Doorn said.
AMSTERDAM – A leading member in far-right Dutch politician Geert Wilders’ party has reverted to Islam after an extensive study about the Islamic religion and Muslims.
“I can understand people are skeptic, especially that it is unexpected for many of them,” Arnoud Van Doorn told Al-Jazeera English satellite channel.
“This is a very big decision, which I have not taken lightly.”
The news about Doorn’s reversion first came to the surface last month when he tweeted “new beginning”.
He later posted a tweet in Arabic pronouncing the Shahadah (proclamation of faith).
The politician later announced that he reverted to Islam, giving no more information about the reasons behind the decision.
“In my own close circle people have known that I have been actively researching the Qur’an, Hadith, Sunnah and other writings for almost a year now,” he said.
“In addition, I have had numerous conversations with Muslims about the religion.”
Driven by his party’s anti-Islam discourse, Doorn decided to dig in for the truth about the religion himself.
“I have heard so many negative stories about Islam, but I am not a person who follows opinions of others without doing my own research,” he said.
“Therefore, I have actually started to deepen my knowledge of the Islam out of curiosity.
“My colleague Aboe Khoulani from the City Council in The Hague has brought me further into contact with the as-Soennah mosque, which has guided me even further.”
A member of the Dutch parliament and The Hague city council, Doorn’s name has long been associated with Wilders’ anti-Islam, far-right PVV party.
Wilders himself is known for his rants against Islam, Muslims and the Noble Qur’an.
New Beginning
Doorn’s decision to embrace Islam has won mixed reactions in the Netherlands.
“According to some people I am a traitor, but according to most others I have actually made a very good decision,” he told Aljazeera.
“The reactions are generally positive and I also received quite some support via twitter.
“It feels good that people who do not know me personally have understanding of my situation and support me in my choice.”
For the Dutch politician, finding Islam was finally guiding him to the true path in his life.
“I have made mistakes in life as many others. From these mistakes I have learned a lot,” Doorn said.
“And by my conversion to Islam I have the feeling that I finally found my path.
“I realize that this is a new start and that I still have much to learn as well.”
Departing from his earlier life as a PVV member, Doorn expects much resistance in his political life.
“The expectation is that I will continue to face much resistance, also from certain government institutions,” he said.
“I have all faith in Allah to support me and to guide me through these moments.”
Canadian Catholic Woman Choose Islam
Without fail, my parents used to bring us to church every single Sunday, we used to practice and celebrate all the holidays, and the religious events. My parents would fast on Fridays.
I actually went to a Catholic school my entire life, so definitely very well-versed in the Catholic faith. But the one thing I will say is even just growing up I did know a lot about the faith, but I was never really brought to think about why I was particularly doing things, or you wouldn’t really think very deeply into theology particularly.
When I finished High School, and I started going to post-secondary education at college, university, that’s when I finally actually started thinking a little bit about my faith. Maybe it was the rebellious sense in all of us when we finally become somewhat independent, we want to be our own person, but definitely it was a little bit more than that.
I remember just going to school, and it was the first time in my life actually intermingling with people that were not of the same faith group, just because going to a Catholic school all my friends were Catholic, I was a good girl, I never really went out a ton, so I can’t say that I really had a lot of friends outside of my faith group. But when I actually went to college, university, I actually for the first time interacted and met Muslims as an example.
That kind of made me think of my faith in a greater sense. Like I remember just going to church and thinking – for the first time in my life – like we are not supposed to be worshipping idols, so why do we even have statues inside the church that people are praying towards?
Or if we were supposed to be praying to the One God, why are we praying to the Virgin Mary? Or why are we praying to other people and saints when God is the Creator of all things, and God is the All-Mighty?
In that sense, I just kind of raised a lot of questions or started thinking simply about Trinitarian issues, and the fact that if Jesus was praying, who was he praying to if he is God? Or why would he be in need particularly? A lot of these things no matter who I talked to wouldn’t have a great resolution, just to name a couple of other things. Like if God is Eternal, then how could God die?
I really could not just wrap my head around a lot of these issues, and the more research I did, the more I realized that a lot of these theological issues came after, and that the pure Christianity was actually Unitarian, but it was the later kind of editions that would change the faith to make it what we know it as today, particularly, meaning kind of a Pauline Christianity. But I won’t get into that.
So generally, at that point that was when I was questioning a little bit more, but I really didn’t have much of a solution, I just had questions. I started looking into agnosticism, just because I figured if Christianity is wrong, and all of these other religions are “polytheistic”, and I can’t really accept that, there are other polytheistic ways of thinking, I didn’t really want to be involved in any of these, and I really never found another monotheistic solution. But at the time, I was not really looking much into religion.
But then I got to a point when I actually got into a discussion about religion with some Muslims, when I was at school, and I really did not know much about their faith to be quite honest. I had all the stereotypical kind of ideas as to what Islam actually was: the fact that it was terrorist mongering and a violent faith, and they just want to convert everybody by the sword, or intolerant they just want to kill everybody that did not agree with them. Very shallow kind of ideas as to what this faith was.
But the more I started asking questions about it, the more I was finding myself strangely attracted to this religion, basically because of the fact that they believed in the existence of the One God, they believed in God’s Oneness, they believed in God’s eternity, Ever-Lastingness, but without all the mental confusion. It was basically belief was broken down into the fundamentals, and it was something that everyone would be able to digest without actually having to do any mental gymnastics.
So, long story short, I started looking a little bit further into Islam, not really wanting to particularly accept it as my religion, but still attracted to it nonetheless. I started taking religious studies course where I actually was able to look at Islam from an unbiased kind of scholarly perspective, and again I found myself kind of being attracted to it because of its rationality and the fact that Islam could meet kind of belief and science half way. It was rational, but it had proof at the same time, it wasn’t just asking you to believe without any questioning or proof whatsoever.
So then again, looking into the Quran I found the exact same thing. You know, Allah would command His servants to question, or think about things or ponder about things, and that was something that I definitely was not used to previously with the Bible, and something that was very attractive for me. Actually pondering and meditating about my religion it kind of gave me peace in my heart that I was really again becoming very attracted to, but again I wouldn’t accept Islam as my religion until I was entirely sure about it.
Reading more into the Quran, I was finally able to put Judaism and Christianity into perspective, particularly looking into the role of prophets. Jesus is seen in Islam as a prophet, and not being divine. And again if you look at the Bible from a Quranic perspective, you will see again all of these proofs in the Bible, the fact that Jesus peace be upon him, attests to the Oneness of God, and never anywhere in the Bible does he ever claim divinity. So reading into the Quran it was slowly kind of answering questions for me.
You know when I went bring up all of these horrible arguments I would see online to people of faith that were actually well-versed in their religion, I would always find some kind of resolution. Whenever I had a question about Islam I would always thought it would be kind of a breaking point, and this is the reason why I can’t particularly believe in this faith, but it always ended up being the contrary. Along my journey, I was probably looking into Islam for maybe about two years or so, and it was continuously the same thing where it was working for my benefit and not on the contrary. And basically whenever I would see all these negative comments online, or get all these negative comments from people or even myself argue with people, it would just bring me to gather more knowledge about the religion, and actually got me to a point where I was very comfortable, accepting Islam for what it was, but I still didn’t make that final step of affirming my faith.
And then I found just one very last final driving point that brought me to actually accepting Islam when I was actually very close to accepting Islam, I was doing an internship in Edmonton, I was at school at the time, this was coming to an end, and I was on my way back to Calgary, where I would actually be living with my older sister for the first time in many years, because she had actually been in Edmonton for university and I was in Calgary, it was the very first time I would be living with her in years.
And I just remember her one morning, it was actually in the middle of Ramadan, I wasn’t practicing or anything yet at that point, I was still looking into Islam, but I heard like some crazy rustling noises and business going on in the kitchen, and I was like was is this?
What is going on?
And it was really early in the morning, and then I found my sister in there eating a bowl of cereal, and like she had all this food around her. And I kind of questioned her as to what she’s doing. And I realized at that point that she was trying to attempt to fast, so everything kind of came together at once, and I realized that at the same time when I was looking into Islam my sister was also, even though we were separately living in completely different cities, and didn’t talk about religion whatsoever, and we were actually going through the exact same thing.
So that actually brought me to appoint where I was feeling more comfortable in my decision to potentially accept Islam, and my sister and I we ended up actually going to a lot of religious lectures and lesson together, and kind of furthering our knowledge together, and searching together. And we got to a point a few months later where we actually ended up attesting and affirming our faith in Islam together, and saying our Shahadah Al-Hamdulel-Allah.
And since then it has been about four years. Since then, my life has changed dramatically, for the better. Finally, as a person I feel so whole. You know, before Islam I would go to bed at night and I would honestly not be able to sleep, because I felt like I was purposeless, and I felt like extreme fear of what was going to happen to me. Am I just like this lump of flesh and I am just going to die and rot in the ground? I just really felt like unfulfilled and I felt like there was just no purpose for me.
But in my life now, I can say that every single moment of every day I feel like I’m accounting for it, and I actually have a purpose, and our purpose it to worship the Creator and devote our life to the Creator in the way that He has outlined in the Quran, very simply speaking.
Anyways, that’s my story. I’m going to keep it short, and leave it at that, but In-Shaa-Allah I hope any of you out there perhaps benefited from this story, and I hope to be of service to anybody with any questions about Islam whatsoever. I would love to kind of dispel any myths and use my knowledge I’ve gained in the past couple of years to maybe inspire you guys in some way or at least provide you with some knowledge or answer any of the questions that you’ve been burning to have answers to.
But for now, As-Salam o Alaikom
Doktor Kai Lühr und Nils Von Bergner Konvertiert zum Islam
Doktor Kai Lühr
Nils Von Bergner
